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The Two Bartlets
WILL PRESIDENT RESPOND TO REPUBLICAN CHALLENGER? WILL JOSH SLIP AWAY WITH FEMINIST? -- While the President (Martin Sheen) and his staff ponder whether to counter a verbal assault on affirmative action by a fast-rising Republican presidential candidate, Josh (Bradley Whitford) must postpone his tropical vacation with a women's rights advocate (guest star Mary Louise Parker) to defuse a risky powderkeg on an island that serves as the Navy's firing range. When Josh rolls up his sleeves to remove protesters who have planted themselves in harm's way on the Puerto Rican island, he makes his first call to the cell phone of an old friend who's leading the group. Meanwhile, Sam (Rob Lowe) meets with an eccentric politician (guest star Sam Lloyd) who believes that Ft. Knox is missing a fortune in gold bullion; a defiant C.J. (Allison Janney) debates with Toby (Richard Schiff) over the merits of affirmative action; and Donna (Janel Moloney) asks Josh to intercede and relieve her of pending jury duty. Summary Cast :Rob Lowe as Sam Seaborn :Dulé Hill as Charlie Young :Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg :Janel Moloney as Donna Moss :Richard Schiff as Toby Ziegler :John Spencer as Leo McGarry :Bradley Whitford as Josh Lyman :and Martin Sheen as President Bartlet Special Guest Star :Mary-Louise Parker as Amy Gardner Recurring cast :NiCole Robinson as Margaret Hooper :Renée Estevez as Nancy Guest Starring :Sam Lloyd as Robert Engler Co-Starring :Kim Webster as Ginger :Ted Garcia as Newscaster :Tom Knickerbocker as Civilian :Tom Porter as Officer :Elizabeth Liang as Staffer Quotes :Josh Lyman: the phone, thinking it is Amy Time number one was on the steps in front of my apartment when you kissed me. It was snowing. Time number two was when you came over after the State of the Union. Time number three was at your house when you put on your bootleg tape of the Stones at Wembley Stadium and put on your feather boa and sang "Honky Tonk Woman." Time number four involved a variety of hosiery . . . :Leo McGarry: Josh, I'm going to stop you right here, OK? :Josh Lyman: Leo? :Leo McGarry: Yeah. :Josh Lyman: Anybody else in the office? :Margaret Hooper: Hey, Josh. :Josh Lyman: Hey, Margaret. :Leo McGarry: We've got a problem in Vieques and a caucus in Iowa. Why don't you come on in to work, hmm? :Josh Lyman: Yeah. :President Bartlet: Look, we're going to Iowa where we've already won. I'm not ignoring the state and I say thank you for getting me elected in the first place and we're back on the plane and I'll tell you what else. I don't think it's a good idea for us to be fighting for news coverage with three governors, two senators, and the head of the church of I Hate You. :Toby Ziegler: sighs Sir, I don’t think I need to tell you that the level of respect with which the staff speaks of you doesn’t change, depending on whether or not you’re in the room. :President Bartlet: But? :Toby Ziegler: Well, there’s always been a concern... about the two Bartlets. beat The absent-minded professor with the “Aw, Dad” sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated. Lethal. :President Bartlet: You’re gonna sing a country western song? :Toby Ziegler: The one whose father never liked him because he was too smart. :President Bartlet: stands This stopped being fun for me a little while ago. :Toby Ziegler: Sir? :President Bartlet: It was actually never fun for me. I was just being polite. :Toby Ziegler: pause Your father used to hit you, didn’t he, Mr. President? :President Bartlet: back turned Excuse me? :Toby Ziegler: Your father used to hit you, sir? :President Bartlet: pause Yeah. :Toby Ziegler: Not like a spanking. :President Bartlet: He hit me. Why? :Toby Ziegler: He punched you. :President Bartlet: I’m done being polite now. :Toby Ziegler: He did it because you made him mad, but you didn’t know why. :President Bartlet: Toby, it was a complicated relationship. Can I help you? :Toby Ziegler: It was because you were smarter than he was. :President Bartlet: It was a complicated relationship. :Toby Ziegler: He didn’t like you, sir. That’s why he hit you. That’s why people hit each other. He didn’t like you. You were smarter than he was. :President Bartlet: Why are we talking about this? :Toby Ziegler: So maybe if you get enough votes, win one more election -you know- maybe your father will-- :President Bartlet: You have stepped WAY over the line, and any other President would have your ass on the sidewalk right now. :Toby Ziegler: Yes, sir. :President Bartlet: They would’ve had you on the sidewalk a long time ago. firmly I don’t know what the hell goes on in a Brooklyn shrink’s office, but get it the hell out of my house! :Toby Ziegler: Thank you, Mr. President. Trivia *The University of Iowa is in Iowa City, which neighbors Cedar Rapids, where Air Force One landed. ERRORS *There is no such paper as the Iowa City Standard, the newspaper in Iowa City is the Iowa City Press Citizen *On the westbound flight to Iowa, the pilot announced they were heading to their cruising altitude of 41,000 feet. On the return (eastbound) flight, he announced a cruising altitude of 37,000 feet. Planes travelling west are assigned even-numbered altitudes (to the nearest thousand feet), while planes heading east are assigned odd-numbered altitudes. The acronym is WEEO -- West Even, East Odd. Music :red red wine | UB40 :josh made tahiti for amy Links *"The Two Bartlets" at IMDb References Category:Episodes Category:Season 3